The Definitive CISO Gift Guide
You know how regular gift guides tell you to buy personalised wash bags, grooming kits, and drones? Yeah... no.
This is for the people who spend their days blocking hackers, herding vendors, wrestling auditors, reporting to the board, and drinking strong black coffee because, let's face it, decaf is for amateurs.
Here are your go-to gifts this holiday season... curated for the CISO who has it all (or at least thinks they do).
🎁 Top Picks for Incident Response Warriors
A Sensible Bottle of Whiskey
For the moments when "have we patched that?" becomes "why do I hear screaming?!"
This gorgeous whiskey pairs beautifully with despair, compliance audits, and some comfy cashmere socks. Great for those multi-day incidents where you wish time would go faster. Drink the whole bottle for instant blackouts.
Please drink responsibly. Always pour double measures. Hibiki Harmony Blended Japanese Whisky from House of Malt. £69.90.
Cashmere Socks
Every CISO deserves one thing... just one... that isn't made of hardened steel, pure caffeine, or existential dread. Enter: cashmere socks.
Soft, warm, luxurious... the polar opposite of your average board call. Best worn during all night incident responses, when you to restore backups, rebuild your will to live, and pretend everything is fine.
Nishiguchi Kutsushita Luxury Cashmere Socks from Toast. £28.00. Bonus points from us if you pick the yellow ones!
Industrial Strength Coffee Beans
This isn't "nice" coffee. Or artisanal coffee. This is coffee that hits harder than a red-team exercise at 9am. The day after the work Christmas do.
Perfect for pre-incident, mid-incident, and 48 hours post-incident when you're writing up that report no fucker will read.
Extra Strong Gingerbread Coffee Beans from Skullcrusher. £16.99 for 500g. Other flavours are available, but it's Christmas... so do the festive thing.
Top Picks for Those needing Engagement
Cyber Escape Rooms
It wouldn't be us if we weren't recommending our own shit, now would it?! Our cyber escape room experiences help you to deliver engagement, mild chaos, and questionable decision-making across your entire organisation.
Choose physical, choose digital... choose whichever one will finally get Gary from Finance to stop clicking links. Perfect for team bonding, morale boosting, and subtly reminding people that cyber security is not "just an IT thing".
Extra festive points if you play it in December when everyone is running on eggnog and wishful thinking.
Download the physical scenario guide or the digital scenario guide. Or talk to us about bringing escape room activities into your cyber programme.
Mistletoe & Mayhem
The Christmas album you didn't know you needed... perfectly curated, maybe AI-generated, but still cool AF Christmas songs with a cyber twist. Get your ears around festive bangers including Have a Very Merry Air-Gapped Christmas, All I Want For Christmas is 2FA, and the amazing Feliz Navi-Bot.
These tunes are a triple threat:
- Bringing festive cheer to the office
- Teaching people not to fall for phishing emails titled "URGENT: Santa Needs Your Password"
- Drowns out the sound of your on-call phone ringing
Set as your ringtone for added seasonal trauma bonding. See... we're not just merry, we're also useful!
Get hold of our festive playlist over at Soundcloud now. Or listen to some select tracks on our audio player below.
Top Picks for Maximum Immersion
SPACE_ (The Premium "Big Kid" Experience)
For the CISO who wants to go beyond engagement, and straight into cinematic, industrial-grade cyber theatre.
Whether it's a life-sized train carriage to play The Heist in, a full SOC room for The Breach, phone booths for vishing, or an actual bank you can steal gold bullion from... SPACE_ brings "experiential learning" to a whole new dimension.
Give your CISO the gift of:
- Full sensory immersion
- High-end chaos
- And the rare opportunity to say, "Yes, that is my cyber escape room train."
Perfect for away days, conferences, or any time you want to bring festival vibes to an otherwise corporate environment.
Check out the website here or talk to our team to find out more.
Top Picks for Boardroom Survival
The Board Briefing Pack
Because sometimes the only way to survive a board meeting is with a deck that says what you *wish* you could say out loud.
Featuring:
- A Risk Heat Matrix™ your CEO will claim to understand
- A "Number of Times We Told You So" infographic
- A slide that politely translates your budget requests...
Ideal for December board meetings, which are basically pantomimes with PowerPoint.
Grab your copy now. Free of charge. Don't blame us if you get fired for using it though.
CTRL+Vish
When the board insists, "Our people wouldn't fall for that," simply smile and roll the tape.
CTRL+Vish gives your CISO the gift of:
- Real vishing simulations
- Individual risk scoring (Jesus Christ, Gary.. again?!)
- Call recordings that proves humans are... well, humans
- Concrete data to back your budget requests
It's awareness training that actually works. A Christmas miracle!
See more about CTRL+Vish or talk to us about bringing AI-powered vishing training to your organisation. Hear it in action below! 
The Stocking Fillers
Padlock Patterned Socks
Because if your feet aren't secure, what hope does your infrastructure have?!
One size only. Padlock-patterned socks from Redbubble. £13.99.
The "I Survived Q4" Mug
Best served with black coffee. And maybe some quiet sobbing. The unofficial trophy of every corporate warrior this holiday season.
Custom Ceramic Mug available from Etsy. £13.22.
Give your CISO the gift they actually want this Christmas... something that makes their job easier, your company safer, and gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside.
Whether it's immersive chaos in SPACE_, a cyber escape room, the Mistletoe & Mayhem album, or a pack of dangerously luxurious footwear... pick something that acknowledges the daily madness they lead your organisation through.
Happy Christmas, cyber teams. Good luck out there!
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